I am begining anew.
It’s been more than a year since I’ve not been someone’s wife. I have been really just going day to day, mostly on auto pilot, surviving, maintaining, trying to keep the kids alive. I’ve been trying stop the after affects and the devastation that comes when you end a marriage.
Because survival mode is so powerful, somehow it looks on the outside that I am positive, upbeat and just fine. I am not much of a downer, people who complain constantly irritate me and I try my best not to be that person. Most of it is just having to put on a brave face for the kids. I also believe in some faking it until you make it, but it has been hard.
I am now off of auto pilot and starting to move forward.
If you’ve followed me, you know I do not like clutter. I have no problem getting rid of stuff, but I hadn’t. I had not packed up anything. There is something to be said about sleeping on the same sheets in a bed that you shared together, driving in a car that you made memories as a family in, looking everyday at items that were purchased for a life together.
That life has come to an end, it is time for a fresh start. Time to put those physical items in a box, schedule the donation truck and move to begin anew.
Planning a day trip to Omaha? There’s an app for that! You can download the app and save $100 on the cities most popular attractions.
The savings include multiple attractions, so you can pick which great places to visit. There are so many family fun activities, you may want to make it a weekend trip, so you can visit more than one place.
Attractions such as:
Henry Doorly Zoo:
“World’s Best Zoo” and home of the world’s largest indoor desert, under the world’s largest geodesic dome next to America’s largest indoor rainforests.
Joslyn Art Museum:
Explore this pink marble masterpiece and come face to face with works by Monet, Rembrandt, Degas and more. The new interactive space, Art Works, let’s little artists run wild with creativity.
100 acres of botanical beauty including rose and Victorian gardens, an Arboretum, a model railroad garden and a 200,000 sq. ft. conservatory filled with rare plant collections.
Omaha Children’s Museum:
Learning and fun go hand in hand, where a colorful array of interactive exhibits focus on art, science and early childhood learning. With more than 40,000 square feet of exhibit space, special events and jam-packed calendar filled with daily programming, OCM continues to engage imaginations and create excitement about learning.
The Durham Museum:
Hop aboard history and explore one of the country’s best examples of art deco architecture. See some of the rarest coin collections, walk through fully restored train cars and stop by the authentic soda fountain for a phosphate.
Shop more than 60 specialty shops, catch a comedy show or a free outdoor concert on Saturday nights all summer long.
Amazing Pizza Machine:
Enjoy 60,000 square feet of indoor rides and attractions including laser tag, go karts, mini-bowling and more. Dining is unlimited at the 100+ item buffet.
Of course, I tell you about an awesome place and include a giveaway!
Omaha Adventure Prize Pack (1 winner):
· 4 tickets to each of the following attractions:
o Omaha’s Henry Doorly Zoo (www.omahazoo.com)
o Omaha Children’s Museum (www.ocm.org)
o Durham Museum (www.durhammuseum.org)
o Lauritzen Gardens (www.lauritzengardens.org)
· 4 special event passes to the Joslyn Art Museum (www.joslyn.org) – Joslyn Museum is currently free to all visitors. However, they have special exhibits which cost extra. They are good for the following exhibits this year:
o American Moderns, 1910–1960: From O’Keeffe to Rockwell (through May 17, 2015)
o Art Seen: A Juried Exhibition of Artists from Omaha to Lincoln (June 21 through October 11, 2015)
o Go West! Art of the American Frontier from the Buffalo Bill Center of the West
To win: visit my Facebook Page and “like” this post. You will be entered into a drawing to win!
Kansas weather has finally decided that it’s summer, which means time to hit the water park!
Schlitterbahn is one of the most fun (and frugal) ways to do it because of all of the free things they offer: parking, life jackets, free tubes and you can bring in a cooler of your own food/drinks (no glass bottles or alcohol).
In addition to the included items, it is perfect for a family like mine. My kids are 15,10 and 5. It is almost impossible to find something that all three want to do. That problem is solved at Sclitterbahn with the tallest waterside in the world, inland surfing, splash zones and more.
We are heading there next week to cool off and have some summer fun, so be sure to add this water park to your summer love bucket list. Before you head out, don’t forget: water proof sunblock, water shoes/flip flops, towels and cooler for your lunch. You still may want to bring money for the turkey legs and funnel cakes!
If you head out this summer, use #BahnLove, so they can see all your pics!
Of course, this post wouldn’t be complete without a giveaway! Head to my Facebook Page and “like” the post and you are entered to win 2 tickets!
1. I am strong.
All the quotes that you see of “you never know how strong you are until it’s your only choice” are all true.
2. Dating is hard, almost impossible.
I have really strong feelings about my children being around men who aren’t thier father, so for me go on a date takes almost a ‘mission impossible’ feel. Secret phone calls to make plans, hiding in the bathroom to have a private conversation, dropping them off with my parents, meeting somewhere really early for dinner, so my children stay on their schedule and we won’t even talk about the time, which I have none of with 3 kids, 2 jobs, sports activities and a blog.
Not to mention, I truly struggled putting my husband first, so you can imagine where a new guy would fall on my priority list!
3. I was ill-prepared for the financial impact.
Going from a full time income (and my part time income) to just my part time income is a mess. There is child support, but in no way does that replace a full time income. Budgeting had new meaning.
4. There is peace in making a desicison.
The back and forth, pro/cons list and the what if’s are all agonizing. After you make the desicison, there is a sense of peace that comes with making a choice.
5. I have wonderful friends.
My friends have stepped in big time! They have listened to my cry and complain. They’ve encouraged me to take care of myself, bought me wine, told me to take a nap, taken the kids on play dates and served me toast (I know, sounds weird, but it’s special toast)!
6. My family rocks.
Not once did any of them judge me, tell me I was making a mistake. They picked up the pieces, helped me pay bills, took care of the kids and more things than I can list.
7. My ex is trying.
I realized that I mostly did everything while we were married. I did all the fun outings, bed time stuff, baths, knew all the special request for dinner, how to pack a bag for an outing, scheduled all appointments..etc. The divorce has allowed him to be a Dad that does stuff, instead of a Dad who is home when we get back. Co-parenting is a true exercise is patience, but I do realize he is trying.
8. Children are resilient.
There were nights that they cried, days that they asked why he couldn’t stay all night, times that they hated what I made for dinner- they were short lived and we got through it. Not that everything is sunshine and roses,but those conversations no longer send me sobbing out of the room.
9. Kid first, even when I’m pissed.
We were married for 11 years, so it goes without saying that he can still irritate me to my very core. The spiteful thing to do is keep the kids away because I’m mad. Nope. There is no reason the kids should suffer because I’m pissed. I just roll my eyes at him when I hand them off
10. I am important.
It is important to take care of me. Working out, eating well, taking a few hours for a girl’s night out are all vital to my health and sanity.
11. Sometimes you need to cry (and eat a cookie).
Strong all time eventually has a breaking point and you cry and eat a cookie or brownie or pint of icecream. You just don’t unpack and live in the tears. You dry them and get back to being a kick ass woman.
12. I see hope.
Even on the darkest, most lonely night’s I have hope. Hope that the financial part will get figured out, hope that there will be love again and faith that my children will turn out to be compassionate, grateful adults who follow their dreams and realize that it is okay to live in their truth.
For a limited time, you can see Gridiron Glory at Union Station in Kansas City. It is the best of the Pro Football Hall of Fame which includes the most extensive and comprehensive exhibition of America’s favorite sport.
Not only is there NFL history, but there is an interactive section that allows you to try on helmets, shoulder pads and see how your arms and legs measure up to some NFL greats!
The kids will love the interactive portion where they can run through obstacles, pretend to be a quarterback and kick a field goal.
Chiefs Kingdom, there are so many things that represent our home town team. Highlight videos, features of our hall of fame Chiefs, mock locker room, tailgating and so much more!
You want to be sure to see the Lamar Hunt bust and Lombardi trophy before they go back to Canton, Ohio. You can also see the Guinness World Record Certificate that certifies KC Fans as the loudest in the world!
This is truly for all ages, my teen boy loved it, he even enjoyed the history of the game. From seeing how little the first shoulder pads were
to how giant the first football was. As well as, a dedication to those who helped the equality of the game.
This would be the perfect day out for Father’s Day. The exhibit will run for the next 15 weeks. Tickets start $14.95 can be purchased at Union Station or in person at the box office. Hours are Monday-Thursday 10am-5pm, Friday/Saturday 10am-7pm and Sunday 11am-5pm.
“Come in as teammates, leave as Family”-Lamar Hunt
A few months ago, I talked about my diet/health reset that I began after my whirlwind February. So,I thought I’d update you. 10 Pounds gone!!! I am not really a girl who gets on the scale weekly or daily. In fact the batteries in my scale died last year and never replaced them. If I want to weight, I usually do at the gym. I try to stay of the scale, because there are just so many variables and some things that a scale will never be able to tell you like inches. I did get on when I started in March in order to get a clear starting point. If you do the math, you will see that it’s taken 3 months to lose those 10. I feel like that’s not a shocking amount of weight, but the difference in my clothing, walking stairs without being winded and energy level are all things the scale can’t measure.
I came across the benefits of losing just 10 pounds. When you think you have so far to go and 10 pounds won’t make a difference, here’s 10 ways it will: 1. Reduce Joint Pain 2. Cut your risk of diabetes by 60% 3. Less medication. Americans spend 58 billion on medication related to being obese. 4. Improved sex life. 80% of men who are obese have erectile dysfunction. 5.Can lower blood pressure by 3 or more points. 6. Can reduce bad cholesterol by 10%. 7. Just about every 10lbs is a dress size. 8. Can reduce risk of heart attack/stroke by 50% 9. Help with your sleep apnea. 10. Increase energy
Thomas the Tank Engine™ is celebrating friendship at Day Out With Thomas®: The Celebration Tour 2015, and families across North America are invited aboard!
Little engineers everywhere are invited to join Thomas when the #1 Engine pulls into Midland Railway May 29-31 and June 5-7 for Day Out with Thomas!
This fun-filled event offers little engineers and their families the opportunity to take a ride with Thomas the Tank Engine, meet Sir Topham Hatt™, Controller of the Railway and enjoy a day of Thomas-themed activities including arts & crafts, storytelling and more.
The tour, now in its 20th year, will make 42 stops across the U.S. and Canada and is expected to welcome nearly one million passengers in 2015.
If your child is #ThomasObsessed you don’t want to miss a day out with the tank engine!
I’m give away a family 4pack of tickets for:
Sunday June 7, 3:45!! (Tickets will be picked up at will call).
To enter: Find this post on Facebook-www.facebook.com/neverhomesahm and click “like”.
Winner announced on May 15, 2015.
I’ve been struggling with putting this into words.
As you all have been following this divorce(http://www.mikitaburton.com/yes-i-am/)
/single Mom journey, some of you I know personally and you ask: “how’s it going?”
I’m not sure that anyone really wants the answer, so I usually smile and say “it’s going”. I know that people are genuinely concerned and it’s really nice of them to take the time to ask.
So, here is the answer- it is lonely.
Not the being a Mom part,but the single part. I don’t mean lack of dating, I mean the truly being alone part.
It is all up to me. Everything.
Every decision about these three humans is all on me. If there is anything about being married that I miss, is someone to bounce ideas off,someone to reinforce discipline and someone to share the milestones/achievements and someone to ask if I’m totally screwing it all up.
All of the questions, I’m the only one to answer. Mom, can I go to a sleepover, Mom can I take this girl out, Mom can I have a car, Mom can I have an Instagram account, Mom what’s for dinner, Mom what are we doing for my birthday. ..questions all the time and just me to answer them all.
There is the really exhausting part of it. Every morning, you know the stress of getting them all ready and out the door on time.
The practice rounds, the homework help, dinner,laundry,cleaning, and bedtime routine – all me, all by myself. The missing assignment emails from school, the tournament schedules all come to me, the school field trips, signing up for gymnastics, shopping for clothes and shoes, up in the middle of the night because someone is sick- All me, all by myself.
I have really amazing parents who help me all the time. Babysit when I need to work, pick them up from school, pick them up from practice, go to games, cut my grass, make runs to Sams club, keep them all night so I can have a 12 hour break…the list goes on and on. I am so greatful for them, because without the help, I would truly be insane.
As much as they help, it still all falls on me. This isn’t a complaint, it’s just the answer to how, “How’s It Going”.
I think being a Mom in general can be lonely. I think the things that I listed, almost every Mom does with little or no help from a partner and I think most Moms wouldn’t change it for the world.
I am not sure that there is a fix or a solution. The best advice that I’ve been given is:
“The only way out, is Through”. So, I will make it through. We will make it through.
I am excited to be a brand ambassador for Lillian Eve polish. Not because I get (free) amazing polish, but because I admire founder, Tiffany.
She is a Mom, just like me and had a dream to be able to stay home with her children and still pay the bills doing something she loves!
Her story of starting this company on a shoe string budget, hand making all polish and accomplishing some Incredible brand milestones in just a year, inspires me to keep pursuing my dreams.
About the polish:
Lillian Eve was born from a simple love of color and a desire for that color to have as little impact on our health as possible. All artisan nail polishes are vibrant colors formulated to last without harmful toxins (5-free), animal by-products, or animal testing.
The spring collection is beautiful and she’s giving you a chance to win it! Click on the raffle copter link to enter.
Enter the give away!